get the groove on

2005-08-22T18:06:00.000+08:00

what the heck is the problem with me?
how come i dont even understand what is happening to me and why i did all those STUPID things?
gosh. im braindead. cant think properly
but ANYWAYS.
i think i was ABIT better today? i DID talk to someone.
and wad she said matterred alot whether anot its true. although i bet its not.
and i asked another someone.
i actuallie sympathise her. GOSH.
but i think its my fault she's in this plight?
im reallie neutral. but that chen force me to!
i hate him.
and i think im reallie bad.
but its better to be hated by one than two? AH!
jack.im done with the story! :D

2005-08-18T17:16:00.000+08:00

so long never update le. yepyep.
ysd went caregrp den gotta leave.not telling whys but some people know the reason.i reallie wanna go. the people there are reallie nice! :D and guitar! hahas.
sorrie ming ee, jiayin and v.lau. im reallie sorrie.AH.feel so guilty.SORRY!
then someone.after being asked where i am. GO AND CALL MY HOUSE.den neh mind. call my house NEVER MIND. but at least tell me what the hell you looking for me right? LIAR. "wrong number" even idiots and morons can tell she's lying for god sake! gosh.and keep saying i always lie. like HELLO?you lie more than me? SMARTY PANTS. oh wells. who can stand her! only super nicenice [someone] yepyep. she's very nice.and i wonder how she can stand her! i would have burst.serious.and so lame.write "karon sucks" on the board.wtf.
oh wells. people are like that.or else are them they?

2005-08-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

SO WHAT IF IM A NOBODY! i dint say i was a somebody! but i just CANNOT bring myself to admit she's SOMEBODY.

for god sake. i really DONT KNOW what was i crying about?!?! I FEEL SO ANGRY AT MYSELF! for what did i cry!

SO WHAT IF I DONT LOOK AT YOU IN THE EYE! your eye's ugly. too ugly fer my eyes! happy with the explaination? ARGH!

and im slow. I DID NOT DENY THAT. im lousy.I DID NOT DENY THAT.im horrible at this horrible thing.I DID NOT DENY THAT.

ILL QUIT IF THE TWO OF THE IDIOTS WHO WERE LOOKING AT US WILL LET ME!

i love my eyes. i love my googles. i will not injure my eyes for you! NO WAYS.

i dint even want to be in this thing.

AND EACH SUNDAY YOU MAKE THE WHOLE POOL KNOW MY NAME. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

what on earth do you want me to do?!?!

i have an attitude. BUT ITS MY ATTITUDE.im defient.im rebellious. BUT THATS JUST ME! WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT? yur not me. im not you.

AND THAT IS WHY YUR SOMEBODY AND IM A NOBODY.

ill do whatever you do not want me to do [one good example.cut my hair.] and dont do what everything you tell me to.

you want me to help you with the IDIOT EQUIPTMENT? DREAM ON!

call me rebellious. but thats the way i am. live with it.

and use umbrella to shield the dumb equiptment rather than US, the innocent LIVING things? this is called ridiculous beyond the standard of utmost ridiculous.

and him!

what is the problem with him!

keep staring at me.

and for one thing. WE'RE NOT DEAF! you DO NOT need to use sign language.

and another, i DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIM WITHOUT GOOGLES. too bad boy.

THATS THE WAY I AM.

so what? kick me out of it?

OOOO. IM SO SCARED!

argh.

AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IS THE BLOODY PROBLEM WITH ME!

why the bloody hell did i cry! right under his nose! ARGH

amazingly. i dont find any of his jokes funny.

on any other day, said by any other person.

ILL ROAR WITH LAUGHTER!

but i dint find it funny when it came out from his mouth today.

AND THATS THE WAY I SIT.

not happy?

TOO BAD. BOY.

after all.

THATS THE WAY I AM.

argh.

i dao-ed them aft it.

something got into me. i went bonkers. whatever.but i dao-ed them.

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS MY PROB!

fuck.

fuck you.

hows that?

after all. IM A NOBODY.

THATS THE WAY I AM

2005-08-10T15:17:00.000+08:00

man. i reallie want to go for the performance.
10 more trainings to the performance.
but however much i dont want to go. i feel quite... excited on it.
argh.

frustrations`

2005-08-10T15:05:00.000+08:00

oh gosh.
i was SO careless! i saved a skin i din want. and my skin was gone. so i had to redo. because i dint save it! so xw, its not yur fault. hahas. its my carelessness! >.<
i deleted my pathetic song list. coz alot of dem dun work. so pathetic lor. hahas. then i duno what song to put. so my blog will be quiet for quite awhile coz i dont think ill have time to do another songlist soon. im not even supposed to be on the comp. >.< *sigh*
i feel like changing my url lehs. abit errr leh this. but abit ma fan. hahas. when i got time then i think PROPERLY! :D

2005-08-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

misunderstandings.

this word can lead into SERIOUS matters. i feel really frustrated now. i mean who's side am i supposed to take on? why am i always the one who DECIDES who's right and who's wrong?
well...it was SUPPOSED to be someone[a]'s fault. but if someone[b] havent been so irritating. someone[a] will not have 'lied' to her mahs. ai ya. so complicating. and now someone[a] is angry at me just because i was kinda 'standing up' for someone[b] in front of her. and someone[b] is angry at me because i was 'stood up' for someone[a] in front of her. it was BOTH their faults lors. and now it seems like i am the ONE at fault. i really wish that they can talk about it and clear up the misunderstanding and stop blaming me for helping the other person. if only they AGREED to even look at each other.
*shakes head* what a wonder how this word can lead to.

2005-08-01T21:50:00.000+08:00

I,KARON CHUNG YUN LEI, WHO IS BORN TWENTY-FIRST OF SEPTEMBER ONE NINE NINE TWO AND CURRENTLY STUDYING IN ST NICHOLAS GIRLS' SCHOOL, VOW THAT I WILL NEVER MARRY UNTIL THE DAY I GO TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP, AND THAT THE DAY THAT I BECOME LES WILL BE THE DAY THE SUN RISE FROM THE NORTH.

I, KARON CHUNG YUN LEI, WHO HAS A STEPFATHER AND IS CURRENTLY STUDYING IN SECONDARY ONE, VOW THAT I WILL KEEP ALL MY VOWS AND WILL BE KNOCKED DOWN THE INSTANT I BREAK MY VOW(S).

jacq, happy now? :)

2005-07-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

hahas.i just realised the last time i blogged was lyk... soo long ago. anws. now's not the time to properly post. so ya.
changed the blogskin. made it myself! so proud of myself suddenly. BUT of course with the help of internet html help and people. (thanks jacq!:D) i lyk dat converse! :D
im becoming more and more senile and retarded. dat time i wanted to tell janice smth. den i totally forgot! ahhs.*sigh*
then now someone ask me to help her make blogskin. must be é purple dino one. stupid lor. ai yos.how to even find pic on barney!! i think the net will just giv me crap pics lor.
today went sarah's house. her comp is lyk ?!?!?! ahhs. i almost died of frustration! ai yos. hmm.muz ask roxanne lend sarah the hanvision thingy. den need to translate. den sarah use direct human translation lahh! ai yos. but actuallie quite ok lah the translation.
my father came back today. *sigh* so dissapointed lor. den was nagging at me to stop playing the comp and sleepp. hahs. tmr got synchro. AGAIN. im sick of it. i hate it. i dont want to perform in my birthday month. i dont want to even be in this thingy! ahhs. IF ONLY i can quit. we're due to perform in sept. pris thinks it'll be before the swimming meet. then her last time swimming friends will see her! lucky im not in competitive. somemore i CANNOT CUT HAIR! i was thinking of cutting it lor. its lyk so long and think lah. den CANNOT CUT. wtf. i hate dat china gal. ahhs. den the costume custom make one. mayb will be 40+ bucks lehs.
den eng change AGAIN. (to ms kwan: we are now tied! our changing record is now both 5!!) hee. stoopid lah. i dun lyk dis tchr lor. hmph. ahhs. *frustrated* oh. im always frustrated. hmm. dat means i not patient lors.
yst recess went canteen celebrate genevieve's b-day. so funn! share cake w/ jiayin. but she say she not hungry! so i end up eat more dan her :P ahhs. so malu. have to giv genevieve belated b-dae pressey. so malu lah. but ANW at least i will give her :D
den np we learn new drills. walao. i never go for jus one week. den i so lag liao! the sideways one i always wrong lah. so malu. den marching. ITS FUN! hahas. but wen i was behind v.hew i couldnt stop laughing lah. she so slow-mo den rong timing le. hand oso very slack! lucky i, the kind-hearted soul , told her to listen to timing. otherwise ill drop down and laugh le lor. very funny lah.den we march very good!(melo, char, me) yays. but cnt reallie tell. mayb i veh bad ones :P. hahas. den karchian march until the hand more dan 90degrees lor. hee.
den got knots and lashings. i LOVE IT! coz im good in it! yay. den need to teach jiayin im a gd tchr lor. i dun care
den pt was fun! netball! karchian,jiayin,teng, josy and me same team. den first game we scored 4:0 against sylvia,erica(with é injured leg),porlin and i cannot rmb le. den 2nd match 6:1 with actbigg,v.hew and i dun want to say le. dirty my hands. hahas.
i desperately need a new pair of boots. DESPERATELY. mine now worse dan the worst

2005-07-23T21:18:00.000+08:00

yay! went out just now. went for high tea.nice :D then went shopping. bought a new school bag. converse one. then a new sling bag! yays. finally. a new slingbag.not that fantastic.but at least betta than my old ambulance one. so ridic kae >.<spare change box. ugh.i so unlucky.
ysd neh go fer npcc coz of dental.dey learnt new drills leh! not fair >.<jacq sae nex time eat vegetable no need to worry liaos. ahahs
moss man veh idiotic lehs.wth la.now gotta go and interview ms lee.dunno how much crap she's goin 2 sae.hahas.
and that someone.she not even coming on dat fateful dae lah!and why she keep sticking to that another someone?its not lyk she's calling the shots lah! for god sake!she's not even going! why is she infront speaking with her terrible voice?seriously...! ai yos.i was so irritated by her lahs.ugh. and she down there singing.she so pro, she come on that day and sing lahs!*breathe in and out* hee.
tmr syncro.ugh.so irritating.i wanna quit!lalas.ugh.dats one of my long-term dream too!if only it comes true...

2005-07-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

ahh.i almost turned into a murderer at that that moment.i wanted to just go and kill her.i warned her. i told her if she is going to come and read all this. then dont complain. i told her she might not like the contents.she dont want to listen.come and read and then go and complain to me!smart. very smart. say what.mentor is monitor. i kept silent. then she say, mentor is a higher rank of monitor. she likes being monitor.can earn dont know what points.i wanted to say to her: but mentor's job is to guide the monitors.thats why its higher rank.to help the monitors.then she say what danette is ueless. that someone ask danette to do stuff, danette will say lazy den dont do. infact. i talked to danette.and found out that she dint want danette to do anything, and put her in cleaniness coz people listen to her. lolx! and wonderfully. she called me bi*ch.ugh.dats what disgusted me and triggered me. i almost went outa control. serious. ugh.then i replied, sorrie. my mother not dog leh.my mother is donkey leh. so sorrie lors. haha.so sacarstic.lolx!
anyways.
today.swearing in.hahas.so malu. my boots worse than dont know what? i change with the logistics then now, even after polishing like siao4, it still doesnt shine at all.so sadds kae. :( dont care le. i must change with the logistics again le. it is absolute impossible to polish the boots. ugh. its like so 丢脸 la.then when we eating that time, evelyn ma am come and took one egg sandwich.then me and i forgot who(sowwie) keep on laughing. hahas. then jeanette came too! :)) then she came and look at our boots! i was like. oh no! then i hid my legs. hahas. reallie leh. very 丢脸lehs. hahas.

2005-07-13T20:48:00.000+08:00

so sian nowadays.dont even have the mood to do hw le.honestly.i know my shortcomings.trying to change but like so impossible. how did that he do that?so envious of him lors.
today went to see gym performance. so boring kae.swimming better.at least i know what on earth is going on.coz ive done it b4 :)
im really pissed off with someone now.she veryvery xtra lor. i think she will read this.which is good! she needs to change andknow her roles lor.for god sake u ar the mentor!not the monitor!why on the bloody hell is she stealing the monitors' job?her idiotic voice is so loud la.she sit so far back behind, yet i can hear what she saying everytime.i know she likes being the monitor.but now she is not lors.lee made her do some things.i dont mind.after all, its lee ask her do ones.but its like lee never order her to be the one saying class stand and stuff right?and she walk so slowly, why must she hold on to the key? toot.at least that is solved liao. thanks danette fer saying at least one class stand.hahas. im so pissed off.not in good mood today. and now i soo sure she's coming to read this.pestered me fer it.
anws.kar chian, stop being so angry lar.cheer up!:)) i know i very xtra today.but *sigh* do i have the choice?

2005-07-11T17:55:00.000+08:00

oh no.these few days so sad! pop. controlled myself not to cry.and succeded.but once reach home then cry like dont know what like that. ytd so sad kae.everyone's nick on msn so touching.including mine.hahas.i admit.then i talked to xw and we talked and she say she starting to cry. then i start crying kae.so toot.then my father ask kae.so ma lu.haha.so sad! i will miss the sec4s alot!
then today.read a letter from jeanette.so touching kae.stoopid ethel, kp saying: cry.cry.cry! almost kae.lucky controlled myself.oh no.i goin to cry liao.i wana reply the letter but i dun know what to write.argh.*speechless* waaa.
ugh.i lost my wallet. im so dead. :'( my ezlink! my money! ugh.my fotos.my everything! im going to go crazy. i wish i could just die.
i love jeanette n genevieve alot alot! :)) i will miss them alot alot

2005-07-07T18:19:00.000+08:00

veh long neh update. gena chided by xy. haha.too bad.im not brainwashed by euu! i stil neh leave space aft fullstop! muwhaha.i so evil rites.aft i blogg yur blog dan euu realise dat.abit late lor!
bought sec4s pass out pressey ytd.they betta like it.not cheap u kno.n kc and v.lau gotta cum all the way to tm. i lurve tm.lucky i stay near:p. saw grace ee shan. realised grace stay so near. hahax.
nothing interesting, so nothing to sae. hahas.

2005-06-29T18:10:00.000+08:00

o-ay. today was irritating. haha. first, new south wales. idiot lar, lyk we promoters lyk dat. even promoters also dont tok lyk 200 words to describe a dumb chair? and shannen is so lucky! miss the whole damn thing. haha. alarm clock neh ring, stop at 6.05 and neh ring? got logic meh? supposed to ring at 6 rite? ai yo. dis gurl got problem.
first lesson of pe with susan lim. so weird la. got people great her ms susan? and she is like suprisingly nice? o-ay. mayb she's scary only when she's angry? haha. but the other time, she just talk to me, i cry liao. scare those peeps who were outside pe room waiting to see her. hahas
then got bloody chinese? with chen. so irritating. *sigh* i wonder how am i going to survive in semester two as chinese leader lor. :( and then sarah keep erm. sayin the stupid name panpan give me. so stupid. and we made chen guess our form teacher. so funny. i was like lcs and qian in the end said mossy? or is it sarah. bad memory.
then we played basketball. only like me and jiexin playin on my team? roxanne was like scared of the feathery ball. haha. at the end of the game all our pinafore all gt white spots frm the feathery ball.hahas. at first start with like let me see... poon joo, steph, me, songya, kally, jiexin, rox, valerie, rosalie, yanlin, jodie, zhuwei...i think thats all... then in the end, jodie and zhuwei went to eat. den roxanne scared feathery ball. den shannen dun throw ball to steph? den in the end lyk only me, jiexin, poon joo, rosalie and kally playin onli. hahas. n i beat shannen! i tot i'd neh do it. hahas. tmr we play soccer!
den englishh...mrs teo nice la. not dat bad. nth much actually.
den mr. a-hole's lesson. ai yo. so many mistakes. poor josephina. haha. airhole say a-hole. okay say o-ay. a-level say air-level. sewen = 7? cower is actually cover...lolx. so funny! we were like laughing like mad? and he lyk oblivious to ewerything. lolx.haha. n he tok lyk mr.lui. cnt say v. valerie say walerie. hahaha
den stoopid mr.moss. another dun kno how to pronounce to tok person.damn long winded. i was lyk sleeping?. haha.
o-ay. mi parents back *madd* sad. n my mum's goin bangkok tmr!=))

2005-06-27T18:36:00.000+08:00

so tired today. its like last night cant sleep at all? i was so scared kaes? all because of hmwk... argh. dumbdumb. our stupid chinese teacher swap with the other half of the class. its like so errr! i kno pan pan sucks lar. but chen? i seriously think he suckk more. and its like there's no reason to change? even d&t also never change lor. and we're stuck with the most idiotic and mossy teacher. argh. and then our recess cannot stay in class!!! waaa. alot of hmwk and roxanne is correct. the canteen is plain dirty. *sigh* at least we still have the 45mins recess:). but we'll have longer of mossy's cme lesson. i dun know how am i going to survive in the remainin of the year lor. and plus chen! jodie say until he like monster lolx.
ai ya. dont care liao. i really like the poem i wrote for my eng:

+broken =))

You say you're sorry,
Thinking it is okay.
that i'll just forgive you,

and happy things we'll say.

But you were totally wrong,
Your mind is not in the correct frame.
You hurt me much too deep,

And I my feelings for you will never be the same.

Before all these,
We were so close.
But now we lost all that,
Treating each other like foes.

Those words were so harsh,
I cannot believe you said to me,
And the pain in my eyes,
Is so visible to see.

You kept saying things,
Making it seem like it's my fault.
The things you say,

Hit me like thunder bolt.

I admit I may be at wrong at some points,
But you cannot deny that you did wrong,
And say this broken friendship,
Is broken because of me alone.

And the tears in my eyes coming down like rain,

That stained my face,

Were from the hurtful words,

You said that placed my heart more out of place.

And each time I think of these,
I break down and cry.
Hiding and screaming into pillows,
Feeling like I could just die.

I cannot bear to think about this,

Yet I can't just push it away,

And these are the only words,

That I have left to say.

Stop trying to pretend that we're still fine,

And get out of my face,

You have torn me apart,

Caused another empty space.

You have made me break,
And made things much worse for me,
You just made it so much more difficult,

For me from this hurtful course to be free.

So please stay away,
And stop making my life like a roller-coaster.
Leave me alone,

Or I'll start hitting you with the bolster.

copyrighted karon.+))

2005-06-23T17:32:00.000+08:00

one day a gal asked her bf:why do you like me..?why do you love me..?
HE answered:i can't tell the reason.. but i reallylike you..
SHE: you can't even tell me thereason.. how can you say you like me?how can you say you love me?
HE: i really don't know the reason, but ican prove that i love you.
SHE: proof? no! i want you to tell methe reason. my friend's boyfriend can tellher why he loves her but not you!
HE: ok..ok!! ermmss..because you are beautiful,
because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring,
because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful,
because of your smile,
because of your every movements.
the gal felt very satisfied with hisanswer.
unfortunately, a few days later, the gal met with an accident and becamecomma.
HE then placed a letter byher side, and here is the content:
darling,because of your sweet voice that I loveyou...now can you talk? no! therefore i cannotlove you.
because of your care and concern that ilike you..now that you cannot show them,therefore i cannot love you.
because of your smile,because of your every movements that ilove you..now can you smile? now can you move?no, therefore i cannot love you...
if love needs a reason, like now, there isno reason for me to love you anymore.do love need a reason? NO!therefore, i still love you...and love doesn't need a reason

*sometimes the best and the mostbeautiful things in the world cannot beseen, cannot be touched, but can be feltin the heart*love doesn't need a reason... its somethingyou can feel burning inside your heart andwaiting to be explode of love...please.. never ever ask someone why dothey love u.. love is nature and withoutlove the world is nothing but a piece ofcrap.. so everyone love the world andalso love ur loved ones...

+))

2005-06-22T11:20:00.000+08:00

back finally! from the horrific malaysia n mi horrific cousins. esp. victor n richard!! i died in the dinner with them okayz. they are lyk constantly fighting? n i being the kind hearted one, sat beside richard coz my other cousin didnt wana sit with him. i tell you that two brothers are horrible! esp. richard...we were eating our lovely dinner and he went to dip his hand into the bucket of ice and touched everyone. that dinner could have been my worst dinner if the previous years havent been worse. that 2 brothers are totally out of control. n i realized something. victor is terribly short. haha. he's like as tall as his horrific brother who is only 9 and he's 12 this year. when i saw him i was like controlling my laughter. and then throughout the whole dinner, victor was like fighting with his dear brother and me lols. but of course i won him. i always do. muwhahaha. *jodie would be more convinced im violent* but he's like so small size compared to me? orh. n i love one of my cousins. ivan! he's so cute okay?. he's lyk 2 this year. n he''s damn furnie. he didnt allow victor to carry him. so when victor wanted to carry him from my arms, he was like beating victor? it was so funny and every one was laughing at dear dwarf victor... ivan rawkxx=))
anyways. i miss being on the comp so much!! n did kar chian miss me? tag my taggy ask me y i never online sho long. hehh=)).... was in malaysia mahx...so nice to be baq=)
my mum's going overseas! but not mi dad:( so sad. anws. im back!

2005-06-14T14:34:00.000+08:00

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No way

Girl: What would you choose: your life..or me?

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and theboy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is becauseyou're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

2005-06-14T11:52:00.000+08:00

cbox is down...so sad. so i put a taggy there=)) but i hope cbox is up soon... i prefer cbox...n i cnt use comp dat often liaoxx..=(...bt im naughty. so IM HERE! haha...
teng so furnie. its supposed to be kohkoh she put in her frenster koko...hehh...muz tel herr. teng went to the what ever carnival thingy with josy...wonder hws it. supposed to be furnn... i cnt go:(
tmr got to go to road safety park. its an idiot kaez!! ai yo. so chidish ones. hope its fun though...=)...
shucks...grandmama's baq...

2005-06-07T15:00:00.000+08:00

*sigh* dis june hols is goin 2 b HORRIBLE. thanks to those backstabbers esp. ahem. so cleva hor...ahem. master of all backstabbers. you were the one who reported yet you denied and said you never! *breathe in and out* i shant waste my energy on dat unloyal ahem. u'll pay. juz watch your back.
anyways. i cant watch tv. i cant play the comp. n mi fone is equivalent to gone. that i have to graciously thank the peeps. and i have to thank jodie. you made me angry. you made me mad and that motivated me to prove you wrong. thank you.
im sorry for that time in the science centre...i know you din want me along. im nt stupid. im sorry im xtra. i know. im really sorry... but pls spell it out nex time.
im sorry.

2005-06-01T20:18:00.000+08:00

ahh...so pai seh yst...beat practically killed me?...lolx...ya ya...im at fault...i kno...SORRY! waa...sorry for makin y'll w8 sho long :( really sry...argh...so jealous...xw pierce hole...mummy dun let mee...:( actually neh ask her b4...haha...2 scared...
uh oh...parents baq ...hehh... gtg buaii!!

2005-05-31T10:26:00.000+08:00

heyy...goin to science center 2 dae...eatin there...wif beat songya n stephie! hehh=))
*sigh*...dun feel lyk meetin the klass again...haha...june hols...hmm...cn take a break frm reality...muwhahaha. lolx.
bt no hp!!! coz im at hme!! waaaa :'(...bt gt comp! weee...msn! yearhh mann..hehh...so bored...mi bro standin beside me nw...mumblin rubbish...oh wels...he always does dat...im so ewil..hahhaa.
i hvn fin. polishin yet...sho sad...kohkoh n sq so hardworkin! so stressed! waaa...lolx...im lazy...so bored nw...n mi bro's pesterin me...its juz a matter of time b4 mi gradma comes along n ask me 2 b a good sister n giv him the comp...haha...gotta leave hse at...11.30?...yearhh...hope i dun gt there late lolx..hehh=P

`//Ponderings

Gray skies slowly darken

As the sunlight fades away.

I sit here alone in the twilight,

Amidst a landscape of gray

Shadows reach out grasping,

The coldness stills the air,

I glance down upon the lake before me

To the reflection at which I stare.

What image is this before me?

Whose eyes burn into mine?

Vague recollections taunt me

Of what I left behind.

Each path that I have chosen

Leads me places I know not where.

Despite my better judgement

I simply do not care.

What roads have I not traveled?

What lessons have I to learn?

As the shadows creep yet closer,

There is so much that I still yearn.

John J.Coughlin

*//http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/xxtempestjadexx/poem3.html\\*

2005-05-30T13:44:00.000+08:00

You are dead inside and don't experience sadness
that often

Your word is: Helpless. You have so many emotions
bottled up inside and you are at the verge of a
breaking point. Life is just too painful
nowadays and you don't want to live it more.
You secretly wish someone would show their love
for you and save you from your dark thoughts.
You feel there is nothing you can do and may
turn to self-harming to relieve the stress. You
are also often depressed and may have thoughts
of death. Life didn't turn out the way you
wanted it to.

You are "Bring me to life" by
Evanescence. Hopeless, depressed and soulless
are your keywords. Yet you have a hope, someone
who can see you for who you are. Keep
searching, or start to.

You need guidance.
You have become very confused in your life
right now and are unable to make decisions that
pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures
as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't
seem to get any better by whatever method you
are using for now. There is a pain inside
because of this and you feel helpless in your
life, thinking you will never find your way
back. But even though the path may seem dark
you still try to find yourself, which means
your inner battle is not over.

You're the high fashion trendsetter. You're
confident, independent, outgoing, and love
attention. You might become a star one day. All
the girls like to follow in your foot steps
because you're so cool, fashionable, and don't
care about anything. You make the rules, never
follow. It could be bad.
But keep the attitude.
That's what makes you, you.

You are a
protector.
Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.
However, you still kill for justice, for friends. People will
will learn to repect the people you kill.

Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Lewis
Facial expression: Smile

Your element is Fire. Like fire, you have a hot
temper and you can be warm and loving as well
and angry and wild. It all really comes down to
what you are feeling. You have a lot of close
friends who you are very protective over, and
with your temper probably some enemies too. You
are not Miss Popular in school since you are
your own person and don't want to be forced
into behaving this or that way. You are the
untamed wild horse, the kind that everyone
wants to catch. But you don't want to be tied
down for the moment and just keep going with
your little crushes. Your will is strong and if
you set your mind to do something, you will
most likely succeed. But beware, your friends
may not always accept your mood-swinging
behaviour. Even if you don't mean to be mean,
they can still feel hurt. You just need to
start thinking some things through before you
do them, and not always jump in with so much
courage. One day you may be hurt because of
that, but then again, your element isn't fire
if you start to analyse situations before you
act. After all, your nature is to shoot first
and ask the questions later.

Your power is: The ability to breathe under
water

Explanation: When swimming, you don't
need to get up and take a new fresh breathe
since you take in the oxygen from the water.
This allows to stay in the water as much as
you'd like. In good purposes it can save
drowning victims. In evil purposes it can make
the person drag people down to the depth and
have them drowned. This helps you escape the
world, if even for a bit, since you have grown
to despise it so much.
You have been a beaten dreamer with aspirations
crushed. Now you try to control your hopes
because you don't want to get hurt again. You
feel there is no hope for you in the future and
has no real goals. But unlike the Controller of
Time you do still feel even if it's mostly
negative emotions. You have few friends, if
any, and feel you are unable to speak about
your troubles. And unlike the Transformer, you
don't feel happiness nowadays. All seems to be
filled despair whereever you go and you are
bitter becaue the world has failed you. It
didn't turn out the way you wanted it too and
you feel betrayed. It is also likely the
feeling of betrayal comes from past
relationships where you were left alone in the
end.
Negative aspects: Since you are highly
depressed and not letting out your emotions
properly there is a possibility for cutting, to
let the emotions out. Also, if the feeling of
despair grows to strong you might consider
taking your life.

haha...went to take some quiz..haha..bored mahh..so ya=))orhh..n i cn c im dead..lols haha

2005-05-30T11:46:00.000+08:00

went to klass blog n posted a lame post..haha...so lame lols..so bored...wanted 2 kp klass blog alive...nobdy's postin...so bored...feelin so lame..hahah...had a fight wif dat eediot...n i juz realized smth...she dun understand eng. she dun understand me wen i said shut up. i burst juz nw...healing.haha.mi organs spewed out(eww)...haha...*sigh* shes such an idiot..feelin so depressed nowadays...so errr...al bcoz ofa stupid eediot hu doesnt care...im so errr...haha...n she kept on goin round n balloon...hmm?...she had a relaspe lol...haha

`\\no friend at all
I once had a friend, who was a wonderful girl
Being her friend was like haveing a bright, new pearl
She was the best, she was so much fun
But then one day she decided that she was done
She would not talk, She would not play
So I was left alone, left alone all day
To tell her how i felt.. Well i didn't have the guts
Yet everyday the pain got worse like big paper cuts
This girl would get mad even when i would try to callI had a friend,
A really nice friend, a friend that was no friend at all

haha...yearhh...
burst;not a balloon;
`//karon]]

2005-05-28T17:41:00.000+08:00

yay!! new blogskin is upp! woot! so much effort in findin the tupid music...haha
to that eediot hu doesnt care:
i dun kno if u're readin dis. if u're not, too bad. but i HAVE to sae wad im sayin now. look, u hv been in mi life. u had a great impact on mi life. b4 al dis, u were mi fren, mi bez fren. u were the one hu brighten up mi day, made me laugh. MY TROUBLE BIN. but now, u're mi life's ke4 xin1. probably, b4 dis, we were too close, probably, b4 dis, we knew too much bout each other. bt wad cn we do nw? nth. oh wells. now, u brought me bad luck. mi life is in chaos nw coz of u. im depressed bcoz of u. honestly, i hv nvr been so angry b4 so fed up, so.... im so angry nw, im about to burst! BURST! everything in life has some way or another linkin to u...u kno hw it hurts? mi future is ruined by u... mi life is ruined by u! mi parents look at me as if im a total let down(well...i am...) they think dat im the freak of the family! al bcoz of u! mi life was nver lyk dis. yes, b4 dis, mi parents dun trust me...bt nw, they dun trust me AT ALL! al bcoz of u, im goin to b infamous. i hate u. y do u hv to come around and ruin mi life?
ok enof of dat dun care person...
yay!!holidays is here!...well...wif lots of hmwk...lol
goin 2 science center...stupid la...go there lyk a zillion times? its lyk singapore is so small, the skool cn onli think of 2 places 2 go...science center and chinatown...its lyk pathetic...haha... i wana thank kohkoh here...haha...THANK YOU KOHKOH!
lalaa...
gtg...need to bathe den go fetch mi mum frm airport...buaiiz=))

2005-05-27T19:14:00.000+08:00

`//My Dark Stranger
I lie in the silence within the stillness on the darkest of nights,

My brow furrows as I breath deeply and ponder my plight.

I know I must leave to reclaim that which I've lost.

To do this I will no matter the pain that is wrought.

I lie in my bed seeking answers to my unspoken questions.

Whoa! what's this? a voice in my head., could it be only imagined?

Hazel eyes widen for but a moment in shocked surprise,

As a sense of peace and of comfort begin to arise.

Thick fringed lids become heavy, flutter, and lie still.

Every deep breath taking me closer to that which I appeal.

My dark stranger visits me again this thought filled night.

Precious illusions of him a most welcome sight.

My nightly visions begin to unfurl and take ahold.

Overcoming me with emotions as his gentle embracedraws me close.

Is he illusion? only a fantasy? a dream that will never come to be?

As he turns to go; "don't leave me" heard softly spoken, my plea.

Outstretched hand reaching, coming back empty with nothing but air.

A soft gasp heard as I awake feeling completely alone and begin to despair.

My brow creases as I think to myself, shall I bide my time till next he should appear?

The answers evade me and I wait for what I'm not sure, losing him a constant fear.

If only my dreams were not just that, illusion, surely I don't ask for to much.

Others have asked for substantiantially more, and given rewards for such.

But I fear that which I seek will never be mine.

For even in my reality my dark stranger will decline.

You see his face i've never seen, nor his voice have I heard.

And yet I can picture his loving blue eyes rather clearly; it's almost absurd.

He brings a smile to my face when my world has made me want only to frown.

And a tickle in my tummy like the wings of a butterfly felt evertime he's around.

My best friend who asks nothing of me, whom I find to be oh so charming and smart.

A person whom I cherish and hold dear to my tender heart.

I can't get him out of my head no matter how hard I try.

And I find myself clinging to him knowing my heart will not lie.

When dawn finally breaks he is often in my thoughts.

Even when he's an enigma and my distress he has brought,

I yearn for the comfort and joy only he can bring.

a wound too deep will never heal;
`//karon]]

2005-05-25T20:10:00.000+08:00

workin on mi new blogskin=)) dis is lyk...so old!!eee
orh kiezz..anw...2day mornin was PLAIN BORING wif the stupid mass...haha...i was singin n ethel n qian was lykk errr...haha...after dat was the dikir barat...hehe...actually quite ns...wen it came 2 the chi and eng one...it was lyk totally furnie lar...haha...n the students behind din really kno so they were lyk 'lalalala'ing...hehe...n the boy...the drivin car singin one...so furnie! lyk clown! so cute...looks so small...hehh
after recess was DARN DARN BORRING!! dat 2 male lame eediots are juz so...well...LAME! esp. the 1st one...he was telin lame jokes and onli he was laughin at his lame jokes n e 2nd one...is so sick! sissy! well...he is... christian chua...cc!! lyk mi bro! chris chan!! muwhahahaha...
okok...go n work on mi blog skin liaoxx=))buaii

the cut is juz so deepp, wil it eva fully recover;
`//karon]]

2005-05-23T12:50:00.000+08:00

*sigh* so many things have happened...i guess many of u had already know...
had a fight wif jodie. she's nt goin to forgive me-ever...so wad can i do? i guess dis time, the wound's nt goin 2 heal. plus, im darn angry wif her.
1) she treat me lyk junk.
2) she thinks she's the best friend on earth.
3) she thinks highly of herself.
4) she thinks i onli hv 1 gd friend n dats her.
5) she's sacarstic[lyk sarah].
6) she adapted a stupid habit. and she only cares about herself.
7) she hurts people n she doesnt kno it.
8) she is a backstabber.
9) she's darn straitforward and doesnt kno it.
10)she does not want to forgive
im tellin you...the list can go on and on...and u all kno it...
*sigh*...what can i do?...she's 4eva lyk dat one larr...as the proverb says...a leopard never changes its spots...
lots of unhappy stuff happened...n ppl in class, u shud kno wads happenin...tnks to al hu cared so much...[kohkoh and v.lau]... but no tnkx 2 those backstabbers...i will nver nver eva eva 4giv al of ya...i guess the others too[shi qian, me, cheyl, ethel]...i shall b ns n nt spell out the names if the backstabbers...
well...at least i pass my ting1 xie3 wif a mark of 52...haha...so pathetic...
yaay...week 10...enrichment week. smth 2 look 4ward 2...but the spa...*sigh* wish me luck...im a scardy catt...esp. eva since the ~~thing~~ haha...
den we went 2 bishan park 4 np outin...so fun but pathetic...gotta b in mud...jeans and shoe was all muddy...gt scolded by family=p...bt so scary. chuan ting partner me 4 soccer... so furnie...she kept... "karon, karon kick kick!" "krystal, krystal, go! go!" haha...so furnie...n she kept..."yay...flower rawkz, chuan rawkz.." i was tryin so hard 2 contain my laughter...hehe...n im proud of our "flower cheer" so furnie...nv had dis fun...n we won the "act cute cheer" group award which is lyk v. embarrasin
sumthin i shud rejoyce...my mother goin overseas sum time...yayayayayayay!!!THANK THE LORD AND REJOYCE! woot!
i prob. can post more durin june hols. so come visit=)) buaizz

are you a friend or a foe?

Wondering as i sit here alone in my room
My feelings so sad, all doom and gloom.
I think about us, the bond between me and you-
How you're my friend, but very often, a real foe, too.

Your "on-again, off-again" confuses me to no end,
You say you're sorry, and you'll make amends.
When i share with others how perplexed i feel,
They say, "Maybe your friendship just isn't for real."

Maybe they're right: It's a double-lane road.
Your being two-faced is such a burdensome load.
Mostly i can't stand the way you gossip around,
Always loving the mean-spirited news you've just found.

I'm afraid if i tell you i've had my fill,
You'll give me that look, and a silence to kill,
Then there'll be consequences to pay,
And i'll be compromising;oh, i hate feeling this way!

I'd like to tell you, have the truth be known,
About my feelings-an interest you've never shown.
Giving wings to my words is a big help
What a relief to give in to the things that i've felt.

I know you've noticed we've grown apart,
More foes than friends, so we've got to start
To talk about us, about you and me
I think you'll see, this is no way to be.

So how about it, when can we start,
To find a new way to talk heart to heart,
To bring back the warmth we used to share?
'Cause deep down inside, i know we both care.

-Elizabeth Martone, 16
*// taste berries for teens #3 //*

i lyk the first 5 verses and the next 2 lines...i guess sum of u all or 1 may kno...it kinda describe us...cool ehh=))

walkin in the rain;
`//karon]]

2005-05-12T16:30:00.000+08:00

lala...yst went to ling's place so fun...hehe...kenneth TOTALLY refuse to smile with his teeth showing wen jodie asked him...so sad...jodie sae he shuai4..i was lyk...huh?...shuai4...more bout shuai1 larr...but he is cutee larr...lyk a small little boyy...yst his b-dae...we kinda celebrated it...so qiao3..davin's burfdae oso dat dae...haha...
today was ok larr...except evey thursdae after today...gt 2 gather at forum...listen to teachers crap...today was dat stupid goh...nex week is mrs. cheong...at least betta dan goh LOL. today's mass PE so fun!! we were jumpin lyk siao...i was é onli 1 in my grp (jodie, me, tall tall, ser min) dat did é teDdy beAr tedDy bEar, toUch é ground...haha...den susan lim ask me 2 swing é skippin rope wif her...so furnie...den she ask tall tall 2 jump...so furnie..she so darn tall lorr. susan lim was lyk.."wah...i didnt kno u so tall"...n i was gigglin lyk siao lorr... n tall tall jumped so well lolz... even wen we jumppedd onn ourr ownn she oso nv jumpp so gdd. gt caught by christina tan 2dae...haizz...i tot she was goin to make mee sew myy bbelt damnn high...but den..i realized she asked me 2 sew it at é same spot it was!! so stupid...hahah...bt mi sewin horrible larrx..haha...not lyk i sew all day long ritezz...haizz...tchr now a dayz too stressedd iz it?..ai yo...so blurr...

Free from those who won't be around
when times get tough, and i am down.
you'll be there for me and understand how i feel
because we both know our friendship is real
unperfect;
~*[karon]*~

oops...long time no update...

2005-05-11T22:42:00.000+08:00

heyy, i juz realized i hvn update for a long time...i hvn even said the napfa results...anw...i got GOLD!!=)) tnkx to mrs. pearce. mr ho CANNOT SEE PROPERLY!! *furious*. i jumped 150 and he saw as 148...so stupid...wanted to kil him at dat time.he oso saw danette's and andrea's rongly...so stupid...anwzz...we went to mrs. pearce after al our items and we said mr ho saw rongly n she let us jump again!!=)) n den i jumpedd...158CM!! i nv in my 12 yrs of livin jumped DAT far b4...heh...i was lyk sooo shockked wen she toldd me i jumppedd 158...i was lyk...huh...anwzz.i juz wana say..."THANK YOU, MRS. PEARCE!!"=))...haha
2day went 2 ling's house...so near my previous hse!!=))...ai ya...my parents screamin liaozz...gtg...say it nexx timme=)) buaibuai

lala,
no one's perfect,
i assure you,
not even me

~*[karon]*~

broke personal record...again=))

2005-05-03T19:16:00.000+08:00

yay!! today got 2.4 n i ran 12.22...yay!!=))hehe...juz so happy...but i was thinkin real hard..y shud i run so fast wen i cnt jump my standin board jump?!?!...argh...im realy scared of tmr's 5 items..i really suck at them! esp. my standin board jump n everythin else!so fed up...
today was ok larr..but dat stupid seet came bak..so damn irritatin...n bio!...im hatin bio more n more...but one thing fun bout bio is practical=]] eng was okok... im beginnin 2 think pierce is a tmr gt chi...hvnt do my hmwk yet...bt do i care?..do i even look lyk i care?..no!! heh...tmr wil b watchin josy's grp performin..so fun=))hehe..
so many things due this week...betta buck up...but...oh wells...if im eva as guai as e nw jodie...den its nt me!!=Pai ya...actually wanted to post a longer post but gtg le...so sad=(...oh welx..cya=))

i've seen lots of people come and go,
sayin and doin whatever--careless you know?
tht's why your friendship means so much to me,
when i'm with you, i feel secure, whole and so free
~*[juz another gal--karon]*~

sports day

2005-04-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

i cnt believe it!! blue lost to yellow!! feel so sorry for the shu weis and debbie...they put in so much for dat day...yet...we lost to yellow!! argh! practically the comm cried lolz...if it was me...i would hve cried too:P...yellow is so sick!...:P im so scared... napfa comin soon...im not scared of the 2.4...im scared of the 5 items. it pulls me down lyk siao!...esp. the standin board jump... ai ya..gtg liaox=))

i'm sittin here thinkin about the past,
hoping in the future our friendship
will last.
we have been friends for a short period of time,
and been
through alot, even so, we're just fine.

~*[karon]*~

shattered

2005-04-19T18:32:00.000+08:00

i juz i cnt believe it...those hu read jodie's blog will understand...im barely tryin to help...since my help is nt apprieciated...fine larrx...den u dun kal me n tok to me bout these things larr!! oh well...enof of her... today...ran 5 rounds...broke my personal record of 11.08 made durin np=)...nw personal reacord: 10.48!!weeee:)bt so tired larr...sum more went to my gym n run summore...science was so bloody boring today...wif dat sales tchr...kp takin my things...carved rubber...so fun. i love it!=D heh...bt carved rongly...i think will b damn ugly wen print out...bt hu cares.. still gt dat bloody geog hmwk..."geography is science"...dun even kno hw to do larrs..ai ya...gtg liaos...btw...wen im at hme...ppl...pls dun sms me...i onli read it the nex morning..im grounded..cnt use my fone at hme...its off anw...so i dun even kno if u smsed me...and if u kal my hp...it'll b diverted to my hse fone hvn finish my hmwk yet...sry kar chian and mei zhen...u'll hve to w8 :P...buhbye!=)

[alone and dying]

new blogskin

2005-04-03T10:12:00.000+08:00

found a new blogskin...so happy and gt back a gd frien:) feelin over the moon

new blogskin

2005-03-31T18:32:00.000+08:00

i'll b changin my blogskin...haha...findin it now

jodie

2005-03-31T17:55:00.001+08:00

jodie...im srry...i didnt mean it...it caused me to b quite restless for a while...it made me quite moody...i admit...i was responsible for part of it...but hve u tot of wad u done?... u cried...cnt i cry? dis is the 2nd time im cryin for friendship... the other time... it was major... u dun need to kno anywayz...u think u're e only person dat knoes how 2 cry?... i hve to face much more things than u... u hve a carin family...do i hve?u hve understadin parents...do i hve? u stay near... i stay far...u reach home early...i reach home late,only to find a brother whinnin at me to help him wif the comp... only to find a old hag shouting away at me...do u? u r moody... does it mean im nt? u r stressed... but can u say u're more stressed than me? i hve a stepfather... do u hve? i was dissapointed at u... u keep sayin things... makin it seem its my fault... but hve u tot wad u did?... wad triggered me to hang up almost everytime u called me? wad made me nt tell my personal things anymore? wad made me cry? wad made me nt trust u any longer? wad made me fall out wif ya? wad really broke the friendship? ur actions did, ur words did, ur behaviour did. i dun trust anymore, i dun...u think i dun trust u coz i juz juz hate u... wanna b me... but wad did u do to make me hate u? no longer trust u? u lied... again and again... i was stupid to trust u after u lied the 1st time... then u lied again... we had a conflict...but laster no longer than 10 hrs... then i trusted u again... i was stupid...but wad happened dis time? do u kno? i doubt so...u find mistakes on others...always thinkin u urself and ur crap r the most perfect things. yes... i admit...again... i sumtimes neglet others' feelings... but did u care about mine?... u cared for urself... how u felt, did u care about me? i told u all me personal things...trusting u... but wad did i find? i found no evidence to prove that u r a true friend... a friend whim can help me... a friend whom i can trust...i only found out one thing...i cnt trust u...wif anything at all... at all...
leave me alone... stop botherin me...stop threatenin me...it doesnt work anymore...do waeva u want... i dun care anymore...i only kno i lost a friend... i only kno we r not joined by the hip...im dissapointed in u... things didnt turn out the way i tot it would b...it only turned out worse...

quiz

2005-03-23T17:10:00.000+08:00

heyhey ppl... i created a quiz... go here:Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com! go there!! weee

the new video

2005-03-09T15:50:00.000+08:00

i set up the new video at the corner coz sum ppl complain their comp hang coz of e music...well, now i changed it! hope u ppl lyk it.refresh if the video doesnt play:)(it takes quite sum time to load though...)

im goin to drown in all e work... history thinkin question, the file, the comic and the projects!!... this is drivin me NUTS!! wad r e teachers up to?? argh!!
anywayz, stay happy, funky and CRAZY alwayz! :)

family tree

2005-02-23T17:11:00.000+08:00

ai yar... stupid history project... why do they wan us to do it? so bo liao! 吃饱没事做！wad can they do wif it aniway? summore mi father's side is at malaysia! how to track???? summore its due tomorrow!! and mi father went to shanghai!
argh... sumone help me!!

chinese new year

2005-02-10T19:22:00.000+08:00

heyhey... juz went to visit mi realtives=) so fun... but mi idiotic bro almost ruined it all... atleast there's lots of ang baos to cheer me up=)
hope all of u out there had a chinese new year juz as happy as mine or even better!=)

changin tagboard

2005-02-08T18:26:00.000+08:00

i decided... im goin to change mi tag board, so peeps... tag again =)!! hehe.. i think the new one is nicer larrr... so go and tag!

tagboard

2005-02-08T18:15:00.000+08:00

i dunno to keep this tag board or use the other one i jus signed up wif... pls either comment or tag me... i need advice on the tag-board man...

backgrounds

2005-02-08T17:59:00.000+08:00

heyhey... i'll b changin the backgrounds every 2 months if i remember so b sure to check in kaez? meanwhile, tag me!

tag me

2005-02-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

tag me pls, taggy tag...=)
lame... srry but nth to rite... hehe

first time posting

2005-02-03T17:28:00.000+08:00

actually this is not mi first blog... those ppl hu noes 'bout the blog that told the story of chimp ern and william hung and mopman... yes it was me hu rote all that crap, however i forgot the pass word and the web-site... i feel so stupid.
anywayz... i may decide all that crap, but alot of ppl dun noe the old crap website so mayb i'll get a new story line... if nat and chia ern(she helped me the other time) is will to help me^_^(hope they'll agree)